Tue 27 Jun 2006
Months ago, I had a dream where (for reasons forgotten or perhaps unformed) I killed a man. How and who is not important. I woke up immediately and I really couldn’t get my head around the fact that I had killed someone. Why, was I gonna get caught? Could I live with my self?
Not long after when I had woken up enough to realize it was all a dream and there was really nothing to worry about in this world, I was stupefied at how I could have concocted a dream that contained such violence. We weren’t spacemen or knights, just men, in the world; one murdered and one murderer.
Well last night I had another dream where the vague plot of the previous dream invaded everything I could dream about. I relived the murder. I was on the lam. I was ridden with guilt and worry and I even woke up and fretted in bed in a half awake middle realm of the subconscious.
What dreams are next? What come to you?
Wish Freud were around to give you some psychoanalytic comic relief. It probably means that you’re in love with your grandmother’s cat or something.
If it makes you feel better, I had a dream like that once, and was equally disturbed. Strangely enough, only a small fraction of the dream was about the killing itself, and the rest (that I clearly remember) was about my guilt-racked life thereafter. I remember a trial, all my family finding out, worrying about what the people in my life would think… it makes for stressful sleeptime.
what are you reading right before bed? Could that have something to do with it?
You might have it here. I was reading a history by Oman calle “The Dark Ages”. The chapter had to do with the Merovignians. Murder betrayal, imprisonment castration and being torn apart by horses. Sigbert, Brunhilde, Fredegunde and Childebert, bad asses all.
You are also right that it is a stressfull sleep after a dream like this. It was all about the guilt and panic.
Crazy Dreams.
Maybe it’s a Tomkinson thing.